MIKE’S MESSAGE
Mike has become an advocate for youth; speaking out against bullying with a frightening truth that every parent, child and caregiver should hear. His son Myles was bullied one time, and it cost him his life. Mike’s mission is to see that it doesn’t happen again. His message is incredibly clear; bullying, whatever the situation, is wrong. People get hurt. People die. Bullying must stop and it’s up to everyone in the community to stop it. It is impossible to listen to the story of Myles Neuts as told by Mike and not be changed by it.
Bullies seek power and control for many different reasons. They do it for popularity, or to penalize someone for being different. Other times, it’s a case of the haves vs the have-nots. Increasingly commonplace are incidents of girls bullying other girls through acts of harassment or shunning. Bullies now have new ways to torment their victims, namely the popular technology present in cell phones and the internet. Whether emotional or physical, bullying takes its toll on the intended victims.
Mike has become an advocate for youth; speaking out against bullying with a frightening truth that every parent, child and caregiver should hear. His son Myles was bullied one time, and it cost him his life. Mike’s mission is to see that it doesn’t happen again. His message is incredibly clear; bullying, whatever the situation, is wrong. People get hurt. People die. Bullying must stop and it’s up to everyone in the community to stop it.
Bullies seek power and control for many different reasons. They do it for popularity, or to penalize someone for being different. Other times, it’s a case of the haves vs the have-nots. Increasingly commonplace are incidents of girls bullying other girls through acts of harassment or shunning. Bullies now have new ways to torment their victims, namely the popular technology present in cell phones and the internet. Whether emotional or physical, bullying takes its toll on the intended victims.
Citing the American statistics that 20 000 children per day (one child every 10 seconds in Canada) miss school out of fear, Mike is passionate that students realize their inherent value as individuals, that they may believe in themselves enough to come forward and seek the help they need. Victims of bullies are often admonished not to tell, or are threatened with harm or public humiliation, and that fear prevents them from seeking help. “Victims have to speak out. You have to tell someone, whoever you trust, and get help where you can find it.”
For parents, that means getting our children to talk to them, and paying attention to the signs that things aren’t okay at school. Children must be safe to tell the truth, and be heard.
Neuts reminds us that if we witness bullying and do nothing to stop it, we’re guilty of allowing it to happen. In the case of Myles Neuts, his father has learned that the bullies actually invited other kids to come in to the locker room and have a laugh at the kid struggling on the coat hook. It was one of these witnesses that finally alerted the school staff. It was too late. While the perpetrators in this case had no idea they would kill Myles with their actions, they did take pleasure in his pain. Giving a bully an audience just gives them more thrill, more power. Mike reminds us, “Bystanders reinforce the victim’s humiliation.”
What Mike wants kids to understand, more than anything else, is that they matter.Not as part of a group, or by fitting in – just by being themselves. Sometimes Mike will stand, arms outstretched, holding two photos of Myles taken just thirty minutes before this tragedy occurred, and reminds the students that his son was popular; he loved school, he’d never really been bullied before, and he was a great kid. He sends those photos around, so that every person in the room would attach Myles’s innocent face to his words. The impact is felt by everyone. Those students see themselves in Myles’s face. He could have been any one of them. “You are all unique. The beauty of the world is that it is exciting. Why in the world would you pick on someone for being different?” School, he reminds them, is about fun, about playing with friends and getting an education. It’s a place where it should be safe to just be a kid. “Kids come to school to learn, to play, to have fun; not to die.”
Frustrated by the media’s focus on negative youth images, he encourages a positive outlook.“We need to acknowledge young people, to recognize them as incredible people.We always hear what children do bad, what they do wrong. We need to hear what they do right.”
As parents, Mike and Brenda Neuts have buried a child, have raised a second son, and have turned a tragedy into a message of hope that will save the lives of other children because thier story will haunt anyone who hears it, with a truth that audiences cannot ignore or deny.
After speaking to a school, it is common for students to flock to Mike, eager to tell their own personal tales.He listens intently to each child.He embraces some and comforts others. His words encourage them to seek help, believe in themselves, and never let anyone make them feel unworthy.Through each of them, Myles’s legacy will live on.
An adaptation of an article written by Kelly Waterhouse
Every child matters. Not to be subjected to discrimination by the colour of their skin, their abilities or disability, their sexual orientation or heritage.
