Neuts Family Continues Anti-Bullying Avocacy 25 Years After Losing Son
Mike and Brenda Neuts have thought about their son Myles every day for the past 25 years.
But the story about the tragedy that took their 10-year-old son’s life continues to reach youth who have suffered bullying.
Myles was found unconscious, hanging by his shirt collar and necklace from the hook of a washroom stall door at the former St. Agnes elementary school in Chatham on Feb. 6, 1998. Six days later, the Thamesville couple made the difficult decision to remove Myles from life support.
When the ensuing police investigation was completed in April 1999, officers said there were no grounds to lay criminal charges against the two boys who were reportedly involved in the incident. A year later, an inquest was unable to determine how Myles ended up on that washroom stall hook.
The couple then turned to advocacy to try to ensure no other child died due to a bullying incident, and dedicated themselves to the goal of seeing the inquest’s 24 recommendations implemented.
Mike Neuts said he could have entered a dark place after his son’s death, drowning his sorrows in drugs and alcohol. But he didn’t.
“What I stood up and did instead has made me a better person because I have to walk my talk better than most people,” he said.
His advocacy has delivered a powerful message to more than 200,000 students across Canada.
Neuts has also kept every one of the nearly 19,000 letter he’s received from students during his quarter-century campaign.
“Out of all those letters, I’ve got about two dozen that are from kids that were going to kill themselves, but they won’t because they met me,” he said.
“So, I gotta go talk to these kids,” added Neuts, his voice cracked with emotion.
He’s also met students who have personally let him know how much his message has impacted them.
One student athlete, who had been tormented by his peers after being outed as gay without his consent, embraced Neuts after a presentation at a high school in the region.
“I wasn’t going to come to school today,” Neuts recalled being told by the student. “I was going to die today, but I came to school and I don’t even know why. Because you were here and because of some of the things you said today, I’m going to stick around in this world and understand that it’s OK to be me.”
The couple’s advocacy began in August 2000, thanks to the late John Kopinak, the first chief of the amalgamated Chatham-Kent Police Service. Kopinak spearheaded an international symposium on profiling and interviewing young people that was geared to police officers and educators.
That kind of symposium was among the jury recommendations from the inquest.
One of Kopinak’s first acts as police chief was to pay the Neuts family a personal visit to offer them his support in dealing with Myle’s death.
“Kopinak was the guy standing us up and dusting us off and pushing us forward,” Neuts said.
In 2001, the couple embarked on introducing the Missing Protector Strategy – a program that matched at-risk youth with adult mentors – to schools.
Around the same time, Neuts began speaking at schools and other public events, travelling across Canada, to share his powerful anti-bullying message.
Meanwhile, the couple began planning a non-profit in their son’s memory to raise funds for the betterment of children while continuing to deliver their anti-bullying message.
Longtime family friend Kent Chapman enlisted the help of his brother-in-law, Keith Graham, who put the couple in touch with London lawyer Sylvia Loyens to make it happen.
When prompted by Loyens for a name for the nascent non-profit, Neuts thought about his son’s initials – MCBN for Myles Casey Benson Neuts – and said, “Let’s call it Make Children Better Now.”
The non-profit became official Oct. 25, 2005.
Make Children Better Now has since grown to raise money for a variety of worthy causes, with a particular focus on mental-health issues. The non-profit also provides annual bursaries for local high school students and supports numerous youth-oriented initiatives in the community. It’s estimated the non-profit has donated more than $125,000 to a variety of causes.
Make Children Better Now also developed Respect Revolution, a program geared to youth that promotes self-respect, respecting others, and promoting inclusion and equity with the goal of eliminating bullying.
Neuts said several other people have helped make the non-profit successful during the past 18 years.
Jess MacMillan, the non-profit’s vice-chair, went to high school with Mike Neuts, but hadn’t seen in him for more than three decades until she moved back to the community 11 years ago.
She had heard about what had happened to Myles and joined Make Children Better Now as a volunteer.
MacMillan is proud of what the organization has accomplished.
“We raise some good money and support many good causes,” she said.
MacMillan said the couple at the heart of the non-profit continues to receive strong support 25 years later.
“We have a waiting list for people wanting to volunteer for events,” she said. “Anybody you talk to has a compassion for the story.”
Tony Drouillard has known Neuts for 30 years and been a member of Make Children Better Now for several years. He recently stepped up to serve as the board’s financial secretary.
“I personally understand his cause and reasons for (Make Children Better Now) and what he tries to do for the youth,” Drouillard said.
Like many organizations that have been around a long time, Drouillard said Make Children Better Now often “works silently within their sphere.”
He said he doubts the general population “appreciates the magnitude of what Mike and Brenda do … because they largely work without looking for recognition.”
When people get a notion of what Make Children Better Now does, they often get engaged. Neuts, he added, has touched people from coast to coast.
While Neuts remains the face of Make Children Better Now, the board of directors gives final approval, Drouillard noted.
“The organization … is much greater than Mike,” Drouillard said, but emphasized it’s the dedication of the Neuts that remains at the heart of the non-profit.
Despite their efforts over the past 25 years, there’s still work to be done, Brenda Neuts said.
Still, she said she believes there are now more people showing others respect, dignity and kindness than those who are not.
While content to let her husband be the public face of Make Children Better Now, she said listening to her husband’s stories has helped in her own healing.
“We think about (Myles) every day,” she said.
Brenda Neuts said she’s also happy her son Dane has fulfilled a lot of wishes Myles had for the family, including travels to Australia and New Zealand.
While the COVID-19 pandemic brought Make Children Better Now presentations to a temporary standstill, that’s now starting to change.
The non-profit recently received a call from the head teacher at a Mississauga private school who remembered Mike Neuts’ presentation when she was as student on a teaching placement.
He’s also heading to Montreal soon for a talk at an English school.
“I’ve learned from my own kids in Respect Revolution and my visits to schools. They charge my battery. They pick me up,” he said.
And, he added, there is one guarantee that comes with his presentations.
“I can make you think,” Mike Neuts said. “I’m hopeful in the way that I make you think, you’ll practice being more kind and peaceful and nicer to people.”
See original story on the Chatham Daily News website HERE.
